Never again

So much is going on in life, but I don't allow myself to read YOUR blogs unless I have posted something. So here goes.

Last night was my district's school board meeting, and Daniel and I went. Not cause we are all involved in the school board, but because we are all involved in the fact that the maternity leave policy was changed after I was already pregnant, and we lost about $5000.

Take money from a poor teacher, and she will be quick to get involved.

Anyway, we took Korenna with us to the meeting, but had to have a friend keep Dillon for a couple of hours cause the meeting wasn't about Thomas the Train, so Dillon didn't want to go. This friend had never watched Dillon for us, but he is easy. He just plays and shouts and eats. And runs. And shouts. Thats it.

When we dropped him off, my friend asked if she should feed him dinner.

"Well, he just ate an entire mammoth banana, so he probably won't be hungry. But if he is hungry, he will tell you and will probably eat whatever you offer him."

Ha! See how laid back I am? This from the mom who used to leave three pages of typed instructions for the sitter while I ran to Walmart. I am SO relaxed. And not obsessive at all. AT ALL.

After the meeting, I came home to put Korenna to bed, and Daniel went and got Dillon. When they got home I asked if Dillon had eaten.

"Uh.... yeah. Well, kind of," said Daniel, waving a tiny red flag.

"What did he eat for dinner?"

"Oreos."

"Oh. Really? That is it? I don't know if he has ever had an Oreo before. Those are gross! What is that stuff in the middle anyway? That was his dinner? Sick!" My voice is escalating in pitch and tempo.

Daniel headed to the fridge to find something to give Dillon in order to head off my rant. His solution? Cheese. A string cheese stick. Great.

Dillon munched happily on the cheese, then we bathed him and put him to bed.

Fast forward to about 1am. Yes, here it comes:

"Mmmmmmaaaaaammmmmmaaaaaaaa! It is so lucky in he-ah! I so lucky!"

(Translation: lucky means yucky, which is actually the opposite of "lucky" for me.)

I went in his room to find Dillon swimming in a sea of cheesy chocolate throw-up. (If that visual doesn't create a food aversion for all of you out there, I think you are made of steel. I'm certainly gonna pass on the Thin Mints for awhile.)

After the clean up, I have decided that it doesn't hurt to be a LITTLE less relaxed about my kids. Unless someone else is gonna volunteer to wash sheets in the middle of the night.

Guess who's back? Back again.

Let me begin by saying that I started back to school this week. It has been really great! I missed my kids, my routine, and even the daily stresses of my job. I am very, very glad to be back.

About a week after Korenna was born, I had a meeting at the school. After the meeting, I stopped by my classroom to say hello and to see how things were going. Imagine my surprise when I opened the door and everything was moved! The sub had decided to "clean sweep" my room (or something) and every piece of furniture was in a new place. My desk was moved. My filing cabinet. The kids' huge vestibular swing was smack in the middle of the room. I could see computer cords snaking across the floor and draped behind desks. I hate computer cords!

Prior to my maternity leave, every cabinet, tub, shelf, and box in my classroom had a carefully typed and laminated label. Things were where I wanted them to be. To know me is to know that I am extremely organized and particular about my things.

This sub didn't know me.

Nor did she take into account that I teach kids with autism and severe visual impairments. I bet they had a doozy of a time for a couple of weeks.

I went home and sulked, the wound too raw to even share on my blog. Was I being silly? Overly dramatic? I felt like someone had gone through my underwear drawer. Really!

Anyway, after six weeks of thinking about it, I was ready to go in on Monday with a smile on my face. The substitute teacher meant no harm, and I seriously think that she thought she was helping.

I still have no idea where our paint trays are. Or my cds. Or the books from the shelf that now holds a hodge-podge of games, no longer sorted by learning objective. I discovered Tuesday that the inside of my desk had been rearranged. It has been disorienting, frustrating, and even humbling. But I am back for my kiddos. And I guess that is what matters.

American Idol, WHAAAAAT?

Did anyone else notice who Ramiele's "best friend" was last night? The depth of that relationship must be pretty awesome after five whole weeks of knowing each other.

Stats

So, I hardly ever look at my stats anymore. I get an occasional email, and I will scan the list of readers (YES! I can see YOU!) because I know that some people read my blog and never, ever, ever comment. (Okay, most of you do that.)

This week, I had the normal amount of readers every day, except for Thursday, when the number quadrupled! Seriously!

I thought maybe I had inadvertently allowed some highly-Googled word into a post on Thursday, but I didn't! There wasn't even a post that day.

That is so strange. Not interesting, or particularly bloggable, but strange.

Too much

A friend posted on her blog recently that she knows that she is God's favorite. Her post made me laugh, because, HELLO? No she isn't! We are all the same! Right?

Apparently, we aren't.

I have borrowed her coveted title for awhile.

Sometimes the list of prayer requests runs a little long. A couple of weeks ago at our small group Bible study, I rattled off four major stressors in my life, much to the chagrin of the notetaker. I felt overwhelmed, and like things were not really going my way.

One of my main concerns was that I had no one to keep my sweetbabygirl when I went back to work on March 17th. If you have ever left your child with anyone, ever, for any amount of time, you know that this can be a wee bit stressful. Especially when they are an infant who cannot tell you why they are crying.

All the daycares that I would even think about putting her in are full. All the private sitters I know went out and got "real" jobs or have long waiting lists. My mom is always good as a backup, but she, too, has a "real" job.

It drives Daniel crazy when I don't get worked up. I relax a lot and say that I know God will answer my prayers (even if I am not sure!). I relax and know that I just need to be patient (even if I don't feel patient!). I relax and hope that I have done my part and that God will meet me where I am.

He did.

One of my friends called me Monday. She said she has been praying about it and she would really love to keep Korenna for me when I go back to work. My hands were shaking and my eyes filled with tears. She is going to keep my baby. And hold her when she needs to be held. And make sure she burps good after she eats so she won't spit up. And play with her when she wakes up long enough to play.

My cup runs over, and I don't know why. But I am so grateful.