< Upheaval: Just the facts, ma'am

Sunday, February 06, 2005

Just the facts, ma'am

I have tried not to dwell on my misery of late. I don't want to constantly whine and gripe about this miracle God has given us, but I need to let you in on a little secret. So far, pregnancy is not fun.

I want to use this post to tell you things that you may need to know for future reference, or remind you of things you may already know because you have been there.

1) Pregnancy makes me uncomfortable. I feel like I could burp loud and long any second. I feel like I need to fart like a man most of the time.

2) Pregnancy makes me eat. I put things in my mouth because I cannot distinguish between the gassy feelings and hunger. I am going to blow up like a balloon.

3) Pregnancy makes me tired. Daniel says I can't sleep through this whole babysitting week. I say I CAN, but I just SHOULDN'T.

4) Pregnancy makes me feel fat. Yeah, it does. I should not have a belly yet, but I don't fit into my jeans. See numbers 1 and 2.

5) Pregnancy makes me feel undesireable. See all of the above.

6) Pregnancy makes me feel bad for taking Tylenol cause my head hurts. In this statement, you may replace the word "pregnancy" with "Daniel."

7) Pregnancy makes me feel guilty cause I feel all of the above and don't have an overwhelming love for my baby yet. This makes me sad. So pregnancy makes me depressed, and for the record, I already have a depressive tendency.

I think this will feel better after I hear a heartbeat or feel some kicking or something. Right now I just feel gross, and unable to comfort myself with a pretty, limey, salty frozen margarita.

So, readers, please provide some words of wisdom. Some encouragement. Some hint that this is normal, and that it will pass. I will take a reprieve from writing about my pitiful state for a while. But, honesty is the best policy, and I thought someone should know.


Blogger Jennboree said...

Unfortunately, sweetie, all that you list is pretty darn common. I know I sure went through all that! At one point I didn't even want to be pregnant anymore. I feel bad about that now, but I sure did feel that way at the time!

Please know that it WILL GET BETTER! The first trimester is always the worst because you just feel like crap and not like you're in the middle of a blessed event.

There's nothing wrong with taking Tylenol, within reason. I took it too. Drink tons of water as well!

The first time you hear your baby's heartbeat, it will make all the crappy days seem worth it. Like you've been given a little reward. And the first time you feel the flutters of your baby, you will even begin to forget the crappy days!

I know, I know...an optimistic future seems absurd to you right now. But you WILL overcome this and you'll even think you're sexy once that firm, round belly starts appearing. I stood naked in front of the mirror in awe just about every day! And it gives you this sense of being a woman that's empowering and sexy :)

Hang in there! Whine and gripe all you want...it helps!

Oh, and it is true...God definitely has a way of helping you forget the yuck. Shoot, I was talking of having another just weeks after Bella. CRAZY!!!!

8:51 PM  
Blogger Michelle said...

You sis speaks the truth!
You will feel yucky, and you don't have anything to really show for it yet, so yes, it is hard to think about loving something that makes you feel fat and yucky. But, you are right, once you get a belly and hear a heartbeat everytime you go to the doc, you will definitely have more feelings of love than you ever imagined possible! So, be depressed no longer! It will all become the most amazing experience you have ever had, and you will want to do it again, because everyone forgets about the yucky beginning... In the whole span of your 40 weeks, it's just these first few that are the bad ones (and the last 2, but we won't go there...). The whole pregnancy is the most beautiful thing you will ever do and you will feel better later!

If it makes you feel better, I don't think I've ever seen you look better! And I can't wait to see your belly! :)

8:24 AM  
Blogger bronze johnson said...

i know, as a guy, i really have no room to speak, but having seen all of what you describe from the other side of the fence, i can offer some objective advice.
1. don't worry about it so much, everything you are feeling is WAY normal
2. if you are worried about how you look, then don't let yourself go, there are plenty of workout classes designed for expectant mothers
3. stock up on vitamin e oil to reduce the onset of stretchmarks
4. being pregnant is not a miracle, it is a normal biological function, as the late bill hicks stated "it is no more a miracle than eating food and having a turd come out of your ass" crass, i know, but right on the money nonetheless.

8:57 AM  
Blogger jes said...

there's another blog like this that you may want to check out. www.dooce.com Dooce (real name is Heather) is a "recovering Mormon" (self-titled), new mother, and struggles with depression. maybe you could read her site and identify. i do, and i'm not even a mother!!

i hope you feel better soon!

8:58 AM  
Blogger jes said...

just choose any of the following categories (leta, newsletters, parenthood, pregnancy). Leta is her daughter.

i'm talking about dooce.com

9:01 AM  
Blogger Amanda Sue said...

Thanks for your support. I was just having a pity party. Today, I feel much better and I went and worked out, which helps tremendously.

Also, I think having a baby is a little better than making poo. If the poo had functional organs and I could love it, then we could talk, but as it stands, babies are a lot better than poo.

5:51 PM  
Blogger Jennboree said...

I don't recall Bill Hicks giving birth. May have had a turd or two, but I don't think that's news worthy.

8:11 PM  

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