< Upheaval: Two thumbs down

Sunday, June 05, 2005

Two thumbs down

Watching movies is one of my least favorite things to do. I have seen very few "classic" movies, and cannot converse about any movies because I promptly forget about the movie as soon as it is over.

So, as we were folding blankets and putting pillows away from our Movie Date Night last night, I told Daniel, "I have GOT to blog about that movie. It was terrible." During church this morning, I thought "I have GOT to blog about that movie!" and on the drive home I said, again, "I have GOT to blog about that movie!"

So here I am, ready to share with you my impressions of this movie that I suffered through for over two hours last night.

We started the movie and endured a few minutes of "flashback scenes" where this boy remembers creeping around in his grandpa's attic during a storm.

I said, "This is gonna be like Neverending Story."

Daniel said, "Shhhh."

A few minutes later in the film, the main character is driving some manly-looking snow machine in the Arctic Circle and using high-tech equipment to locate something under the ice.

I said, "This is gonna be like Indiana Jones, too!"

Daniel said, "Mmmm-hmmm."

After a few more minutes of this sequence, the main character had a lengthy speaking part.

I said, "Oohh! Daniel, pause it!"

Daniel did.

I said, "I really hate this guy. I don't know why he gets paid to make movies! He has got to be the worst actor."

Daniel said, "Yeah, I know."

Unpause.

There were some tense moments and then a lot of things blew up, but of course all of the main characters survived. Then they decided to try to steal something big and important, because that was the ONLY solution to their problem.

I said, "This is gonna be like Entrapment or Ocean's Eleven."

Daniel sighed, "Yep."

The movie is about halfway over. There are some parts that have tried to be funny, but aren't. I am very disturbed by the haphazard way these archaeologist-type people are treating historical artifacts. I hate the way the main actor talks in monotone. There is a random, and unnecessary, love-connection that happens along the way. This, in no way, enhances the story-line at all.

I interrupt the movie to tell Daniel all of these things.

He agrees, miserably.

There are about thirty minutes left of the movie. I have rolled my eyes so much that they ache. I ask Daniel to pause it so I can fix some ice cream. That makes the movie more enjoyable.

We finish the movie. It is very predictable. The main character does not get in trouble, even though he has violated many federal laws. The FBI sees that he did it for the good of his country. The main character gets the girl. The bad guy goes to prison or dies or something. I don't know because I was busy filing my nails.

I said, "Dang. That really sucked."

And my sweetheart had no choice but to agree. Funny that he doesn't make me watch movies with him very often...

13 Comments:

Blogger Jennboree said...

So, what was the movie for cryin out loud? Doesn't sound familiar to me...unless it is one that I zoned out on, fell asleep, or fixed lots of snacks during.

I saw The Aviator this past weekend and it is GREAT. I'm not even a Leo fan but he did awesome as Howard Hughes. Two thumbs up.

Then I saw The Fockers and though it got a laugh here and there, far between the obvious slapstick, it was a pretty focking bad movie. Haha...sorry. Couldn't help it.

I much prefer old movies like just about any with Doris Day or Katherine/Audrey Hepburn. Or Star Wars. Or Steel Magnolias. I could see any of thee above 50 more times with glee.

12:40 PM  
Blogger Amanda Sue said...

not telling. i want someone to guess. and guess the bad actor too!

we saw The Aviator on Friday night. really, daniel was asking way too much of me this weekend. i didn't like it that much, probably because it was longer than any nap i could possibly take.

12:59 PM  
Blogger Vanessa said...

I loved "The Aviator!" Cate Blanchett did a great job portraying my idol. Leo was wonderful, too. I watched "Anchorman" last night. Parts of it were hilarious. I'm going to watch the second "Bridget Jones" movie tonight. Loved the first one and read both books. Has anyone seen "Cinderella Man?" I want to see it soon.

I hope someone guesses your stinky movie. It's going to drive me nuts.

3:04 PM  
Blogger quycksilver said...

My guess:
National Treasure w/ Nicolas Cage.

I haven't seen it, nor will I give anyone any sum of money, no matter how paltry . . . but your description is exactly what I imagine that movie to be like. It seems stupid, predictable, gimmicky and I don't like NC at all, except in City of Angels.

But I almost never watch movies anyway--just TV, lots and lots of procedural drama (and the occasional non-procedural drama).

3:24 PM  
Blogger Jennboree said...

Nicolas Cage movies are never on my radar for must-see.

Considering how few movies I've seen in the last year or so, I couldn't begin to guess the rotten egg you saw, Manda.

3:46 PM  
Blogger Amanda Sue said...

yeah quycksilver! good job, especially for not having EVEN SUFFERED THROUGH THIS ONE!

i can't stand nicholas cage. why is he continuously employed??

4:25 PM  
Blogger quycksilver said...

I did sit through the trailer quite a few times. . .

Don't know why Nic Cage has any jobs, especially as a leading many--I mean. He's just plain old ugly. I could see if he were hot but a bad actor or an amazing actor and not attractive, but NC is neither. I just don't get it.

4:50 PM  
Blogger Amanda Sue said...

i THINK i liked Matchstick Men. i THINK. i am not good at remembering movies once they are over.

other than that, i can't say i have liked him in anything i have seen. and he IS ugly. yech.

9:09 PM  
Blogger Stephen said...

I thought it was okay for what it was. It's cotton candy cinema. I'd have to be desperately bored to watch it again tho'. Cage has made some pretty crappy stuff, but I liked Con Air and 8mm pretty well.

1:08 AM  
Blogger jes said...

i hated 8mm. i had flown into Lubbock to visit friends, and was immediately picked from the airport and ushered to the movie theater to see this movie.

i had never heard of it before, so i wasn't opposed to seeing it.

about 15 minutes into the movie, when i realized that it would be porn SHOWN IN THE LOCAL THEATER WITH ONLY AN "R" RATING, I walked out.

I HATED THIS MOVIE SO MUCH THAT I SAT IN THE LOBBY FOR AN HOUR AND A HALF, DOING NOTHING, UNTIL THE MOVIE WAS OVER.

9:12 AM  
Blogger Amstaff Mom said...

My in-laws rented this so we watched it with them. You're right, he's a TERRIBLE actor and his hair was horrific! You could almost see the hair plugs. That was the most annoying feature of this movie. And that it was pretty hokey, and was no Ocean's Eleven, Indiana Jones, or Entrapment. It was nice that they tried to make an action flick that wasn't R rated, but it didn't need to contain that thick layer of cheez whiz.

10:06 AM  
Blogger Melinda said...

Okay...really....I liked National Treasure....and I like Nicholas Cage...really...you hated it that much....really!! :) I'm sorry to hear that!

12:08 PM  
Blogger Ben said...

National Treasure... Jake thought it was "cool." Six year olds are funny that way. lol.

2:02 PM  

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