< Upheaval: My apologies, and the excrement of birds

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

My apologies, and the excrement of birds

Sorry the blog has been a bit of a "blahg" lately. I don't have time to think, much less type those thoughts out. Things will get calmer in life, or I will amazingly require less sleep. Either way, sometime I should be able to post more.

Now, on to my story.

This morning, when I let Tux outside, a bird flew into the house through our screen door. (The screen is severely lacking in this particular door.)

The bird flew into the kitchen and rammed into a cabinet. Then she hopped into the living room and sat on Dillon's play table. She went under the couch and beat her wings furiously for a few minutes. Then she went under the entertainment center where she stayed for a long time. Armed with a colander and a piece of cardboard, I finally got her to fly out the open door.

My issue is not with the presence of this bird in my house. It is with the sheer volume of poop she produced in those few minutes. It rivaled the bowel movement of a small dog. Seriously!

I remember having a bird when I was younger. He pooped a lot, but I also didn't clean his cage often enough. For whatever reason, there was always a lot of mess in the bottom of his living environment.

But today, this bird put a lot of mess in MY living environment! I swept. I vacuumed. I wiped the floor to make sure there was no residual poop.

That is a lot of work to clean up after one tiny bird. I know she was scared - the colander and cardboard didn't look anything like the branch of a tree. So here is my theory to account for the amount of poop:

When frightened, the internal organs of a bird turn to excrement so that the bird can make himself lighter in order to properly respond to "fight or flight." I think it sounds reasonable. Anyone want to help me test this hypothesis?


Blogger YankeeAmanda said...

Basically, the sh*t was scared out of her. ;)

8:37 PM  
Blogger Princess21 said...

Poor bird!
Poor amanda sue!!
Poor Dillon's play table!!

2:43 PM  
Blogger Melinda said...

Wow...that sounds like it was a lot of fun...as much as I would love to help test your hypothesis, I will have to pass! :) But to help, we have had a few birds in our church while church was going on. I think that there was only one incident of a flying poo hitting some old lady, but nothing like what happened to you!! Hope you were able to clean everything up! :)

3:34 PM  
Blogger Jennboree said...

What a crappy story. Really.

5:18 PM  
Blogger Serendipity said...

I'm in, but will it get us animal control? LOL.

12:11 AM  
Blogger Trinity13 said...

My question is, why would a bird even want to go indoors???

10:09 AM  
Blogger jes said...

It's times like these that you'd really rather it be your car.

4:45 PM  
Blogger Kandace Groenewegen said...

While reading this, in my mind I was thinking BLEACH THE PLAY TABLE!! BLEACH WHATEVER YOU CAN WITHOUT WRECKING IT!!!

9:51 AM  
Blogger Ben said...

I think you tested the hypothesis just fine. If a bird flew into my house, it would scare the crap out of me... I would be running around the house all freaked out... it wouldn't be a pretty sight.

1:14 PM  

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