Thursday, November 30, 2006


I went to WalMart for a few random items this afternoon. I didn't have a list, but I knew I needed bananas and a scarf.

I was meandering along when I came upon The Seasonal Aisle. I really like The Seasonal Aisle. They have all sorts of stuff crammed together that would usually be in all different parts of the store, so that makes it convenient, and interesting. (By interesting, I mean that Dillon was at home with my brother and I could actually attend to the items around me without searching for the elusive "BALL!" that Dillon sees everywhere we go.)

I was super-interested in what I found on The Seasonal Aisle. It was chocolate! Various brands, combinations, and assortments. All right in front of me! It looked sort of like the Valentine's Day Seasonal Aisle, but some candy was wrapped in green foil. The bright lights of the store reflected off the all the shiny packages. The air on that aisle was rich with the smell of chocolate. I was giddy. I was walking with my cart, staring at all the packages, wondering what treat I would bring home for my hips.

CHANG-A-RANG! and "UuuunnnnGGGGH!" happened simultaneously.

The first sound is that of my cart colliding with the large, white, concrete post planted right in the middle of The Seasonal Aisle. (Hel-LO?)

The second sound was the ladylike noise that I emitted when my stomach collided with the handle on my cart and my lunch enchiladas were pressed against my spine.

There were actually people on the aisle, too. And guess what I did! As if the situation could be any more lame.

"Sorry!" I shouted, to the post. "I was looking at the chocolate!" Again, very loudly, and directly to the post.

I hobbled away, empty-handed but clutching my stomach, heat radiating off my face and threatening the integrity of the chocolate around me.

So think of me, when you are on The Seasonal Aisle. And learn a lesson from a friend: grab a bag of chocolate, even if you have to make a quick getaway.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

LOL! Seriously the apology to the post made me laugh out loud. That was too funny. I hope your stomach doesn't still hurt.

And I hope you'll keep writing a lot. Your blog is so entertaining!

9:09 PM  
Blogger Sharkey said...

Oh, you definitely ended NaBloPoMo on a high note. This post made me laugh out loud--especially your description of the actual collision: CHANG-A-RANG! UuuunnnnGGGGH!

Oh, er, sorry--*recovers composure and manners*--are you okay?

10:39 PM  
Blogger Jennboree said...

Interesting that you apologized to the post. I would've stared incredulously at the thing, wondering where the heck it came from and WHY did it hit my cart, then look around at everyone else to see if they were just as shocked at the post's behavior.

But I can totally picture that entire event taking place and your reaction to it. You've had a habit of talking to inanimate objects since you were little.

8:06 AM  
Blogger YankeeAmanda said...

I thought of you while in the seasonal aisle today at wal-mart. And I buzzed right through for fear of hitting something tall and metal.

5:25 PM  
Blogger Amanda said...

Seriously... you should try out for Nick at Nite's funniest mom in America. Seriously.

2:36 PM  

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