< Upheaval: Chapters of a book not yet written

Friday, February 22, 2008

Chapters of a book not yet written

There are so many parenting books out there, but not one that specifically addresses my needs. I don't have time, or else I would go ahead and write it. Any volunteers? Here are the chapters I would like to see addressed:

1) How to delay infant poop until the clean diaper has been on for more that 30 seconds

2) Strawberry Poptart: does that count as a fruit?

3) Why one boob is better than the other (An Infant's Perspective)

4) Step-by-step guide on how to get residual party glitter off your son's privates without him thinking it is a tickling game

5) Five reasons REM sleep is overrated

6) Multisyllabic nonsense - interpreting toddler babble, especially with constant references to The Backyardigans episodes

7) Why baby's hunger is directly inverse to the level of engorgement you have reached

That is all I can think of for now. These hot topics would make for a great bestseller, if I could only find an author whose thoughts are more coherent than, "Did I just change her? I can't remember... maybe I didn't. Maybe... ooops. Well, now it doesn't matter..."

Any takers?


Blogger Allison said...

I'm so NOT qualified for that book! Ha! Though if you ever find one with any of those subjects, I'd love to get a copy. :D

8:52 AM  
Blogger YankeeAmanda said...

Dude, I would just have more questions, no answers.

10:32 AM  

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