< Upheaval: Who nose?

Saturday, May 07, 2005

Who nose?

I have a scratch or something right on the edge of my left nostril. It keeps getting a small scab on it, and I keep removing the scab because it feels like a crusty booger. I will probably develop a staph infection on my nostril.

That being said, I would like to give you a little background on my history of nose problems.

I really love Neosporin. I think this is a great, great invention. Many moons ago, I would have nosebleeds every single day. I went to the doctor and he cauterized the blood vessels in my nose. I still got nosebleeds every single day, and now they HURT! Weird right?

I thought, "Neosporin heals skin. Does it heal nostril linings?" It does!

Now, as an attractive nightly ritual that makes my husband desire me more than steak, I squirt a healthy amount of Neosporin up my nose. Much like a crack addict, I cannot sleep or think about anything else until I have had my fix. (Let's not even talk about Carmex or Aveeno lotion for my hands.)

In light of my recent nose-scratch, I will probably need to expand the Neosporin application to include my whole nose, and perhaps a narrow band of skin around it. Or how about just my whole middle-face?

8 Comments:

Blogger Michelle said...

I know that there are rehab places for crack addicts, but I know of no such place for Neosporin addicts. Good luck!

10:43 AM  
Blogger Vanessa said...

You are the first person I've ever heard admit an addiction for Neosporin! You are right about the staph thing. Not to alarm you, but there is a lot of staph in one's nose just waiting to get you. Which is why you should never pluck nosehairs; always cut them. Saturday night and I'm writing about nosehairs. I need to get a life.

9:09 PM  
Blogger Amanda Sue said...

i always associate nose-staph-infections with my students, because, HELLO THEY PICK THEIR NOSES. so i am sure when i get a large festering sore, people will just think i pick my nose.

i cannot imagine the pain of plucking a nose hair. that makes my eyes water and i want to sneeze!

9:19 PM  
Blogger jes said...

when i was in the 7th grade, i would also get daily nosebleeds. my mom's solution was to take me to the chiropractor.

each time it happened, and believe me: THEY WERE VERY FREQUENT, the chiropractor would put a dime against my nose, and pick up a tool that looked similar to an electric drill.

then he would take the bit and drill the dime against my nose, and it always scared me because i was sure that one day he would drill right through the dime and i would have a steel bit impaling my nose.

that never happened, though, and eventually the nosebleeds stopped.

9:29 AM  
Blogger Ben said...

Or you could just smear neosporin all over your body... just as a precaution. lol

12:33 PM  
Blogger Jennboree said...

Jes...that is the weirdest thing I've ever heard a chiropractor do! He went to 7+ years of school for that? :)

Dang...my husband's in the wrong profession!

1:49 PM  
Blogger jes said...

yes, i worked for a chiropractor for 3 years in college, and when i told him what the other dr. did to me, my chiropractor/dr. thought it was pretty weird, too.

thankfully, I TURNED OUT NORMAL. ;)

5:10 PM  
Anonymous Kristina Brotzman said...

I love Neosporin! I use it for my nose for nosebleeds, my face for acne, and for cuts! I love who invented it!

5:19 PM  

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