< Upheaval: Hand to mouth

Saturday, October 08, 2005

Hand to mouth

I have a little bit of an obsessive nature. Once something begins bothering me, I cannot let go of it until it has been resolved or reconciled in my head. This usually involves trivial things that are of no import in real life, because, why would I waste my brain power on things that matter?

Most recently, I have been obsessed with personal hygiene habits. Mainly, other peoples' personal hygiene habits.

For instance, in one of my classes, there are two girls that sit beside each other. Let me introduce you to them. One of them wears flip-flops daily. We can call her "Feet." (That is not her real name, but it is a random nickname I think she should have.) She gets settled for class, then promptly kicks her shoes off. Her feet are then in the chair, and her hands are all over them. She rubs them. She picks at her toenails. She pops her toes. She puts her shoes back on, rearranges her pretzel legs, and then off go the shoes again and on goes the routine. In between all of this, she is touching things. The chair. The table. Her notebook and pen. Ug. It just gives me the willies.

The second girl, whose Indian name would be "Hands In Her Mouth" sits beside "Feet." She spends the entire class period sucking her fingers. She bites her nails, but then she puts her fingers all the way in her mouth, too! (I used to be a nail biter, and I know how hard it is to quit that bad habit, but I also know that you can get pinworms around your anus from biting your nails, and that fact alone is enough to make me never put my hands in my mouth again!) "Hands in Her Mouth" will raise her hand to ask a question, and you can see the light reflecting off of the slobber on her fingers. It is repulsive.

Each of these activities alone is enough to turn my stomach, but the fact that they are occurring simultaneously and in such close proximity to each other makes me obsessive. I spend most of the class period blending their behaviors until the two girls become one disgusting person who touches her feet, then sucks her fingers.

It is driving me to distraction. So help me! I have to fix this so that I can obsess about other meaningless things, like the actual lecture.


Blogger Michelle said...

And these people are adults? And they are going for their Master's? And then they will work with children? Ugh...

flaqx (what??)

10:47 AM  
Blogger Jennboree said...

So how do you get pinworms on your anus from biting your nails? If you bite your nails and then pick your anus? that's disgusting!

Perhaps they are just trying to relate to the children they will one day work with?

1:24 PM  
Blogger Sharkey said...

I think you should start sitting in the front row. Then their disgusting behavior will occur behind you and you won't notice it. Well, until you hear the toes popping and the sucking sounds, that is.

3:57 PM  
Blogger Amanda Sue said...

sharkey! you are a genius, and i was hoping someone would suggest that. just so that i can say:


jenn - pinworm bacteria gets under your nails, then it gets ingested, then the little worms grow in your intestines and make their happy little home on your hiney-hole, which begins to itch like crazy. i have never HAD pinworms, but i have had students who had them. ew.

5:27 PM  
Blogger Jennboree said...

Whew..thanks for the explanation.

5:40 PM  
Blogger Amanda Sue said...

it is something to keep in mind. for instance, if your little one ever scootches her hiney across the carpet like a dog, maybe she has pinworms. GREAT!

5:44 PM  
Blogger Jennboree said...

Can I laugh or should I go right to concern?

9:05 PM  
Blogger Ben said...

Just be thankful that you can not see the guy behind you sticking his pencil eraser in his ear and then sucking on the end of it.


P.S. What are pin worms?

9:26 PM  
Blogger Trinity13 said...

Can you sit in the very back row where you won't be able to see and hear them as well?

9:38 PM  
Blogger worshipnaked said...

Good. Lord. That is hideous! HIDEOUS, I SAY!

Obviously, you have to quit school.

10:29 PM  
Blogger Amanda Sue said...

tracey - i KNOW. that is really my only option. the classroom is small, so sitting at the back doesn't protect me at all.

ben - i have already explained all that i know about pin worms. do you not have four children? this really is a common ailment. maybe just here in texas...

11:30 PM  
Blogger JLR said...

I am so grossed out right now.

10:55 AM  
Blogger Jennboree said...

Is that why Scamper used to scootch across the carpet? I thought he was just showing off a trick...

11:21 AM  
Blogger Vanessa said...

I was going to suggest that you sit on the front row but I see that's already been done here. Eww, those are some gross girls.

2:20 PM  
Blogger Amstaff Mom said...

"Is that why Scamper used to scootch across the carpet? I thought he was just showing off a trick... "

OMW, that was hilarious. And just enough to edge the nausea after reading this post and the other comments.


8:43 AM  
Blogger Amanda Sue said...

jenn - consult with me before posting this nastiness on my blog. that stuff is like a skeleton in our family's closet. you want everyone to KNOW about our closet???


8:57 AM  
Blogger Ben said...

Okay... so I just googled "pinworms"...


(With a capital "N")


9:30 AM  
Blogger Sydney said...

UGH... I can' remember every seeing that kind of behavior in a classroom! Where are these people from?

11:56 AM  
Blogger Amanda Sue said...

texas, apparently. :(

or maybe they are transfers from minnesota?

12:30 PM  
Blogger Amanda Sue said...

ben - did you find this advice when you googled pinworms??

"Discourage nail-biting and scratching bare anal areas."

12:33 PM  
Blogger Jennboree said...

I will be sure to follow that advice.

8:41 PM  
Blogger Ben said...

Actually, it gave the advice that if your child is complaining that their butt itches... you are supposed to let them go to bed and then after they are asleep... take a flashlight and turn them over and shine it up their rear to see if there are any worms because they "come out at night." Okay... now there is no way I am going to try and sneak up on some pinworms in the middle of the night by shining a flashlight in my son or daughter's butt crack.

That's a job for Sydney.

11:25 PM  
Blogger Amanda Sue said...

also, there is the "tape test" where you stick some scotch tape on the anus to see if any worms or eggs stick to it.

would you do that, or would you make sydney take care of that as well??? :)

7:12 AM  
Blogger Ben said...



7:24 AM  
Blogger Amstaff Mom said...

oh my gosh. I really am going to be sick. SICK!

8:48 AM  
Blogger Jennboree said...

That is SO disgusting.

Why do mom's have to do all the disgusting work?? Hmmmmm?

9:19 AM  
Blogger Sara said...

Wow. Gross. Makes me very glad I never bit my fingernails.

PMS you eva?

9:43 AM  
Blogger ~Jennifer said...

"I spend most of the class period blending their behaviors until the two girls become one disgusting person who touches her feet, then sucks her fingers."

LOL! For some reason bodily functions and fluids along with bad habits tickle me to no end. You tell a good story!

6:00 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

Ok as if the post alone wasn't enough to make me DRY HEAVE - your's and Ben's discussion here in the comments has ruined my appetite for the ENTIRE day.

SICK. I suggest you bring a pair of socks for "feets" and a pacifier for "hands in mouth" and kindly suggest they make use of these items.

2:04 PM  

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