< Upheaval: Go ahead, make my day...

Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Go ahead, make my day...

Multiple deaths. Unexplained deaths. Unstoppable deaths.

Crispy, brown, withered blades of grass that crunch underfoot like potato chips. Stooped and mourning hydrangeas. Wilted geraniums bend down and touch the sides of their hot, dry pots. Tomatoes, stunted in growth by the sudden death of their vine, turn raisin-ish in the sun. The only relief for the redtip bushes is the flood of urine that Bo releases sporadically throughout the day. He can't keep up. He can't quench everyone's thirst, though he tries. The only bright flowers that decorate my home are the silk stalks from Hobby Lobby that hang in a basket on my front door.

The rest of the yard is a wasteland. Look! There goes a tumbleweed! And a small dust storm. Can you hear the saloon music?

This is the state of my lawn. Please give us some rain.


Blogger Jennboree said...

We got a teaser shower of rain today. All that did was encourage the worms to emerge and then the sun laughed as he then fried each moist wiggler like a sliver of bacon on the driveway half an hour later.

8:27 PM  
Blogger Vanessa said...

I feel for you. My gorgeous flowers have all died in the last week. We finally got a "gully-washer" last night. I'll try to send some your way.

9:02 PM  
Blogger Jennboree said...

Our sad tomato crop tries to keep the maters going but, alas, they are looking mighty puny.

Even the jalepenos can't handle the heat. Ironic?

10:16 PM  
Blogger quycksilver said...

You are hysterical.
I hate the smell of worms.

On an unrelated note, did something happen to unky-moods? I'm only asking you because II know you had it on your site too, and it seems to have disappeared . . .

1:02 AM  
Blogger Amanda Sue said...

i don't know where unkymoods went. i just took it off cause i got a blank box with an x in it.

vanessa - my husband, refined as he is, calls those kinds of rains "turd floaters."

7:08 AM  
Blogger Amstaff Mom said...

I DID hear the saloon music. We are fighting a losing battle with our freshly-laid St. Augustine. It's goose is cooked.

7:51 AM  
Blogger Amstaff Mom said...

BTW - I'm watching that little bottle move ever so slightly to the right on your baby countdown. Are we going to see any more picture updates? The censored version of course, as opposed to your first pic. Ha!

8:26 AM  
Blogger Amanda Sue said...

okay, we will try for a picture today or tomorrow. really.


we laid sod in our yard last year and it is s-t-r-u-g-g-l-i-n-g to stay alive. so sad to see that money dry up and blow away.

10:07 AM  
Blogger Amstaff Mom said...

Depressing, really. At our last house, we spent gobs of money laying pallets worth of St. Augustine over all of our bermuda grass. St. Augustine ALWAYS takes over Bermuda. But no-ho-ho. When we sold the house, it was almost completely back to Bermuda. bummer.

10:47 AM  
Blogger Princess21 said...

I feel ya girl! My lawn is in the same condition! Sad really! We get some rain, then none for a long period of time.

11:10 AM  
Blogger Ben said...

Maybe it's your dog peeing on the flowers that's killing them.

I am sure it's not helping. ;)

11:13 AM  
Blogger jes said...

um, why don't you just water it? or, has daniel not allowed you to touch the faucet since your last attempt at watering?

11:27 AM  
Blogger steve said...

I will stock up some Oregon Rain for you... we always have enough

12:10 PM  
Anonymous tracey said...

Amanda Sue -- I love this post! Hope for some refreshing rain for you soon, if only to save Bo's overworked bladder. ;-)

12:47 PM  
Blogger k8 said...

please take some water from us- my yard is mudpuddleville.

2:52 PM  
Blogger Amanda Sue said...

ben - bo means well. he only pees on the redtip bushes, and they are doing fine. REALLY!

it is pretty pointless to water the yard unless you can afford to water daily, or at least every other day.

sadly, we cannot do either. but sometimes i will let an excess of spit build up in my mouth and then run outside and spit on my ferns.

3:05 PM  
Blogger Melinda said...

That's lovely to hear that I won't have a neurotic water schedule to follow this up and coming weekend. Last year when I was blessed with watering your lawn I had to remember which day it was, if it was the correct time of day to water, if I had moved the sprinkler, if I had remembered to turn off the water, if I was fully dressed to go outside so that I don't scare the neighbor kids to change the water...hehehe...you get the idea!! :)

11:05 PM  
Blogger Amanda Sue said...

ha! mel, i forgot about that. no, don't worry about watering the hay. it is about ready to bale.

8:15 AM  
Blogger JLR said...

well, you asked for it. It's pouring here today. Creepy, "holy hurricane Batman, is this the end of the world?" rain.

11:21 AM  
Blogger Melinda said...

IT'S RAINING!!!!! Well...it's kind-of scary...but at least it's raining....:)

2:17 PM  

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