< Upheaval: All apologies

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

All apologies

I have insulted a friend. I hate when I do that. Usually it is my witty comebacks that get me in trouble, and this is no exception. I told "Ben" that Minnesota is an armpit. That is apparently a derogatory term up north. Let me explain.

Armpits are necessary. They keep your arm connected to your torso. They are useful for holding things when your hands are full. If you are skinny, and you stand on your head, you could fill your armpits with liquid. Armpits get a bad rap (wrap?) because they have to wear special odor protectants (normal antiperspirant, or sometimes antibacterial soap), but that is just because armpits are so busy.

As penance to "Ben," I found out some interesting facts about Minnesota that would make any Texan hop on his horse and ride up there to live. Here are some of the tantalizing tidbits:

1) Minnesota's state motto is Fatti L'Etoile du Nord. This doesn't have anything to do with fat toilets, so don't even go there. It means "The North Star." That is going to become my motto, too. Because, you know, when the going gets tough, "the north star."

2) Minnesota is also known as the gopher state. Now, in Texas, gophers are annoying yard pests that drive my husband to drinkin', but apparently, they are highly revered in Minnesota. They are proud of them! Go Gophers!

3) In Minnesota, they are hard on crime. For instance, the following is an actual law on the books in this state. Daniel would have a heyday!

It is illegal for a woman to appear on the street dressed as Santa Claus.

What about the sidewalks though? That is where our problem is in Texas. Not so much the streets, but the sidewalks.

4) Another really cool thing is the sheer number of lakes in this state. No wonder "Ben" is always fishing.

That is really all I could come up with. I challenge you to add to the list! First, to bolster "Ben's" self-esteem, and second, because I want a lot of comments.


Blogger Kim's Mom said...

Although I personally never did it I've heard Ice Fishing is a very cool (pun not intended but what the heck) Minnesota pasttime!

3:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Blessed are the cracked, for they let in the light"
marsbar cheesecake recipe

3:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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3:27 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

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3:28 PM  
Blogger JLR said...

Armpit=anoymous's website.


In other news, AS, I did so enjoy your post. Very funny.

3:29 PM  
Blogger Amstaff Mom said...

Uh oh, you've been spammed! Let's see, Minnesota. I've connected through there twice on my way to NYC, but haven't ever been out of the Minneapolis airport. I did see lots of snow last time though. It's GOT to be a great state if Ben and Sydney live there.

3:30 PM  
Blogger Amanda Sue said...

ew! major suck-up sounds coming from am's part of the country! even i won't go THAT far. :)

okay, anonymous. let's take this outside. i'm freakin' tired of spam on my blog! arg.

3:43 PM  
Blogger Amanda Sue said...

i should have titled this post in honor of AM:

"MINNNNNNN-esota, where the wind goes blowing through the treees"

we can just make up a new song.

3:59 PM  
Blogger Ben said...


Y'all are crazy down there...

There is a saying up north...
Cold hands, warm heart...

The opposite is true as well... Amanda Sue.

That was cold. (I can recognize sarcasm when I see it.)


4:09 PM  
Blogger Michelle said...

How many anonymous comments can you get on one post? I think you win!

4:56 PM  
Blogger Amanda Sue said...

my hands are cold! i promise!

don't make me apologize for my apology. sheesh.

6:15 PM  
Blogger Amstaff Mom said...

Thanks, AS. I appreciate the honor bestowed upon me.

9:10 AM  
Blogger jes said...

is there any coincidence that Ben lives in Minnesota, and the Minnesota state bird is the "Common Loon?"

9:26 AM  
Blogger jes said...

also, did you know that in Minnesota it is illegal to cross state lines with a duck on your head?

that explains so much.

9:31 AM  
Blogger Amstaff Mom said...

Speaking of states with wierd laws, I did background checks on our employees for four years. Weirdiest misdemeanor conviction ever? Ready for this???

"Fishing for trout, with cheese."

Nice, huh?

10:32 AM  
Blogger Ben said...


Jes... that was funny.

There is no coincidence. ;)

1:31 PM  
Anonymous od said...

As a Minnesota resident, I can say that it is an armpit. Texas, however, is well, something south of the armpit and north of your knees ;) . It's probably best if we all just ditch this area and head to Hawaii.

10:58 PM  
Blogger Amanda Sue said...

od, that sounds GREAT!

i must say though, that the bodily region that you are referring to for Texas is SLIGHTLY more necessary and fun than an armpit.

7:52 AM  
Anonymous Ben said...

How is one's butt crack fun?

12:57 PM  
Blogger Amanda Sue said...

woops. wrong area.

10:19 PM  

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