< Upheaval: Still learning...

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

Still learning...

I want to share a little something that I have learned this week. I think I have learned shades of it before, but I learned it again, in a little different way, and needed to. Got it? Good...

I have been doing a little reading and soul-searching in order to evaluate my role as Daniel's wife. Along the way, I have found some interesting analogies and thought-provoking ideas. Lemme tell you about one.

"Proverbs 12:4 - A wife of noble character is her husband's crown, but a disgraceful wife is like decay in his bones."

At first, it is almost comical how the Proverbs liken a contentious woman to all things irritating and dreadful:

"The incessant dripping of rain on the roof? Yeah, my wife is like that."

"What about living on my own? Yeah, that would suck, but, sometimes, I would rather do that than live with my wife."

But this one really hit home.

Decay in his bones? That is like cancer. That is the rotting of the marrow of his bones - the substance that protects his body from infection and that gives him strength. I am responsible for the DECAY of THAT. Instead of being Daniel's crown, which is an outward sign of strength and prosperity, I have the ability to break him down so that he cannot even fight off basic infections of his life.

How can such a marriage be strong in the face of adversity? How can we be expected to function as husband and wife, as partners, and as friends? How will our marriage last for a lifetime?

I want to be a wife of noble character! I want to be his crown! It takes conscious effort, though. And accountability. Thus, this post, that is neither funny nor sarcastic, but real.

Won't you tell me what you think?


Blogger Ben said...


You are truly a Proverbs 31 woman. I love your introspection and the fact that you seek accountability; seeking the Lord as you come along side your husband.

(10) A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.

(11) Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing in value.

(23) Her husband is respected at the city gate where he takes his seat with the elders of the land...

(26) She speaks with wisdom and faithful instruction is on her tongue...

(28) Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband, he also praises her...

(29) Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all...

(30) Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.

As I read these verses, it they remind me of Sydney... just like you, she is a woman of God.

Praise God for women like you who are not like an incessant dripping of rain... who are not like the decay in his bones.

While we all have contentious moments, you are not like an incessant dripping. A contentious woman would not approach her marriage in such a humble manner.

Just wanted to encourage you... your children will arise and call you blessed... I am sure Daniel already does.

8:07 AM  
Blogger Amstaff Mom said...

I loved this post, Amanda. I never thought about it being like a cancer. Robbing him of his very being, and of his joy. Thank you for the reminder. And don't forget that the model for this chapter is Bathsheba. We are all a work in progress.

9:28 AM  
Blogger jes said...

amanda - i love that you broke this down into your own version of a "modern day" translation. i never thought about what "decay in his bones" would be like. it never occurred to me that this would be like cancer, like rotting from within, like breaking down his body.

how sad. i never want to be that, either!

11:30 AM  
Blogger Amanda Sue said...

ben - thanks for the encouragement. i think that the prov 31 woman is a goal, not something i have, or will ever, achieve. but i do want to make daniel proud. i do want to help and not hinder him.

am and jes - i had never thought of it like that either, but i think that is essentially what that verse is saying!

12:27 PM  
Blogger Princess21 said...

I totally agree with you! Thanks for putting it in to terms I can so understand. I need to change a few things. I want to be a crown, not a cancer!

12:33 PM  
Anonymous od said...

There is something competitive in men that causes them to show off their greatest achievements, something that says to others, "Look at the good decisions I've made." A crown signifies to those who see it on the wearer that this person is worth something, that they have importance. When Daniel said "I do", he said to the world, "Amanda Sue is my crown, my best decision, the person who is closest to my heart. Judge me by this woman because I have chosen her to be my wife." You have no small task in being a wife of noble character, but you have a God who will help you fulfill this.

9:55 PM  
Blogger Amanda Sue said...

i wasn't really sure about what the "crown" meant, but what you say makes sense, od.

you are right - most important of all, this endeavor requires the help of the Lord. :)

8:15 AM  
Blogger Diane said...

This is truly profound. Just the fact that your heart is sensitive to Daniel and to God speaks volumes about who you are. I appreciate your blog so much - it encourages me and makes me laugh - something I need very much! May I always be a crown for my incredible Darrel - may I always show others that he made a wise choice!

7:11 PM  
Blogger Heidi said...

WOW - never thought of this. But I totally agree that we have this capability as wives. Shortly after we got married, Steve got shingles. Yes, we had a stressful marriage for the first year or so. We still have our bumps, but I also strive to be his crown!

9:51 PM  

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