< Upheaval: They are forms of transportation, not billboards or notepads

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

They are forms of transportation, not billboards or notepads

I love to drive. With the windows down. With my Sirius Satellite Radio up. Fast, as Trooper Cortines noticed last week.

What I do not love are other drivers. Now I am not trying to be complain-y or gripey, but let's be reasonable. Your car is not a bulletin board. There are several things that people put on their cars that I think are rediculous, and I would like to discuss those things here.

1. I am not a fan of magnet ribbons. At first, they were okay, but now there are magnet ribbons for every cause under the sun. On a recent road trip, Daniel and I counted magnet ribbons and we discovered that if you had one, you most likely had two. It is like, ALL OR NOTHING with the magnet ribbon people. Pink, camo, yellow, puzzle piece ones, black POW ones, the list goes on and on. I hope I did not offend.

2. Window stickers that tell your kid's extracurricular activities. Soccer balls with "Jerrome" above it. A ballet slipper that says "Kelsie." A tennis shoe with "Markus." I mean, we have graduated from the years of "My child is an A-Honor-Roll student at Woden Elementary." Some people have a lot of kids, and that means there is a lot of space taken up with these displays. How can they see to drive? I seriously have a friend who has an 18-month-old and she has a BABY sticker with the kid's name above it. Being a baby is his extracurricular activity.

3. Fake softballs with fake broken glass. Have you SEEN these things? Um, my car isn't really a piece of tore-up-junk, but I want you to think it is.

4. Pretend bullet-hole stickers. See number 3.

5. Enormous letters that spell out your Latino last name across the entire rear glass.




Most of the time, I cannot read this font and I think it says something like"GROSS MONKEEZ."

Anything else? This is just what I could think of now. Let me hear your peeves, guys! Or even, defend your own car decor! I need to know!


Blogger jes said...

oh, amanda. i am SO TOTALLY ON BOARD with you on ALL of these accounts. there's more than just the softballs and broken glass. they also have tennis balls, baseballs, and golf balls.

oh, i'm so glad we agree about these things. this is also why we are friends.

and why if we ever get in a car together again, we won't be embarrassed to get in the car with each other.

5:04 PM  
Blogger Amanda Sue said...

thank you! sadly, i am aware of all of the other sports-equipment-and-broken-glass combos. all stupid.

5:38 PM  
Blogger Jennboree said...

There's also bull's balls. Seen 'em? Yeah, they dangle from the hitch on the back of trucks. Lovely.

And don't forget the window cutouts...like the cowboy on bended knee to the cowgirl and his horse. Not sure if he's proposing or just wanting a kinky threesome.

5:47 PM  
Blogger Amanda Sue said...

You are right - I forgot about the silhouettes! like the never-ending Calvin peeing/praying...

6:20 PM  
Blogger jes said...

gross. i haven't seen the bull's balls. i'm sad that i've been made aware of them, because certainly i'll start noticing them everywhere i go.

who would want bull's balls hanging from their hitch?

worse, i've seen a purse made from a bull's ball before. just one ball. not two. who would want THAT?

6:22 PM  
Blogger Jennboree said...

Maybe the wallet was the other ball? Perhaps the second was just too small for a whole purse.

Well, upon noticing the dangle, I got as close to the guys' truck to view it without causing a wreck and it appeared to be a fake. But what do I know? Never been that close to a bull either.

8:31 PM  
Blogger jes said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

10:57 PM  
Blogger jes said...

the fact that you've never been that close to a bull could be bragging rights. i mean, would you really want to get close enough to the rear end of a bull to look at it's balls?

Yeah. I didn't think so.

10:57 PM  
Blogger Michelle said...

I agree with all of those, even though my husband's parents found it fun to send my husband one of the black POW ribbons since his Papaw really was a POW. It's not on our car, though, it's on our fridge.

8:30 AM  
Blogger jes said...

A refrigerator. A proper place for a magnet. Even if it is a huge POW ribbon.

9:11 AM  
Blogger Jennboree said...

Just imagine how many pics those ribbons could hold up on the fridge! Oh the possibilities...

Michelle, perhaps you will have started a new trend!

9:39 AM  
Blogger Amanda said...

Here in east Texas, the big fad is to memoralize your loved ones who have passed on by plastering their info on your back glass. I'm serious. EVERYBODY HAS THESE. I saw one the other day that said the person's name, their date of birth, and date of death. Under that, it said, "Taken too soon." Blake said he wanted to put his great-grandmother's name on our car with her date of birth and date of death, and write "taken too soon" under it.

People, she was 102 when she died.

Are we irreverent?

6:49 PM  
Blogger Amanda Sue said...

Isn't that the truth? At our school, which is PK-12, we had a senior pass away last year. Probably half of the senior class, and some adults got this memorial sticker on their car. It had a silhouette of a bucking bull, the boy's name, the boy's nickname, and date of death. Sheesh. Talk about a constant depressing reminder.

6:24 AM  

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