< Upheaval: Coughers and fakers

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Coughers and fakers

This change of weather has aggravated some coughing reflex in the lungs of some of my students. The other ones are just faking. Sincere coughers (SC) turn red in the face and gasp for a breath. They try hard to speak, only to be overtaken by the sheer force of their expelled air. I become very concerned about my SCs, offering them drinks of water from the water fountain and letting them sit up for a minute during naptime, because laying down also aggravates the cough.

It never fails that, once an SC has been identified and sympathized with, a chorus of fakers begins their act. Fakers take a huge breath (try this so you will understand what I am describing) then they release the air with one loud force from their throat that is about 50% vocal component. These are the children that stare holes in you while they torture their throats with this parody. They usually perform this act in unison right after a SC has been offered a drink.

Sometimes I think about what my students will be like as adults. Their tiny personalities will change so much, and they will become independent and responsible (hopefully). However, after a day like today, during which I listened to fakers for eight hours, I can't help but envision a crew of sickly twenty-somethings. They will have a hardback copy of Current Medical Diagnosis & Treatment tucked under their arm and they will be the ones who still hold their thermometer up to a lightbulb when their mom isn't looking.


Blogger jes said...

you mean, you can hold the thermometer up to the lightbulb and make the temperature go up? i'm TOTALLY trying that next time i get sick. ;)

by the way, i tried the cough. my coworkers gave me "the look."

5:21 PM  
Blogger Amanda Sue said...

not a digital one, a mercury one. and definitely not a fancy ear one. just a plain old rectal or oral.

ahahahahahahhaha! i can't believe i typed that.

5:26 PM  
Blogger Jennboree said...

That's pretty fun. BTW, the ear thermometer is a joke. I used it when she was feverish once. Kept saying Bella was 95 degrees, then I took the RECTAL temp and she had a fever. Rectal temp taking is so fun.

Your niece is multi-talented. If she coughes (SC) she'll then fake it for the next two minutes. And if I cough, she'll fake it as well.

Kids are hilarious. Really. Can't wait till she points out an overweight (gotta be PC) person and announces it to the whole mall.

10:27 AM  
Blogger Amanda said...

See, this is why YOU are still a teacher and I am NOT. You point out which of your students will be hypochondriacs when they grow up. My colleagues and I used to point out which ones would end up in jail first. Yes. I'm THAT bad.

3:30 PM  
Blogger Amanda Sue said...

oh - we do the "job" prediction as well. it passes many a long and boring naptime...

7:26 PM  

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