An argument

I have a pretty valid argument for large cell phones. (Think of the phone Zack carried in his backpack on Saved By the Bell. You know, the one that took the place of his books cause it was so large.)

I took my friend Brandi to the airport this morning. My advice is to never offer to do this for someone. Just be busy. Find something else to do. Pluck nose hairs or something more fun.

Brandi misplaced her new phone and realized it as we were leaving the hotel to catch her flight. So we looked through her bags. All seven of them.

Her phone is tiny and silver. It looks like any number of other things. Like miniature eyeshadow compacts. Or the small case that her camera's memory card goes in. Her daughter's "play" phone. It looks like about a million other things, and Brandi had all of those other million things crammed into her many bags.

We looked for about thirty minutes. We drug the bags and the babies to the car, and I started tossing stuff out of suitcases all over the parking lot. She was running around trying hard to use nice language, since she is a preacher's wife. At one point, I located her deodorant, which she had also lost the night before. "Brandi! I found your deodorant!" is not what one wants to hear when one is looking for something so much more significant than deodorant. She told me that with her eyes.

Finally, Brandi went back up to our room and found the phone under the covers of my bed. That is where she hid it so her daughter wouldn't find it and play with it. That makes sense. Thank goodness the baby didn't find the phone and play with it! Heaven forbid.

If her phone had been big like Zack's, we probably would not have had this problem. We would have been on time to the airport, so we would not have driven the wrong way down a one-way incline spiral in the parking garage and almost gotten killed. I would not have had to shove her and the baby out of the car and throw her bags frantically toward her check-in gate, so I would not have a sore shoulder. She would not have had to run like a madwoman through the airport with her baby, her bags and her phone in tow, so she would have had an easier time at security, I am sure.

That is my argument. Cingular? Sprint? Verizon? Can you hear me now???