Training a trainer

My brain is barely registering anything. I just got out of a two-day training for school. I have some tips for the trainer. (Please read the following requests aloud with minimal inflection in your voice, barely resting when you get to the periods. That will give you a good idea of how my last two days were.)

Please do not tell any more stories about your experiences.

Please learn to use expression when you are talking.

Please do not mutilate the English language.

Please do not start a new story in the middle of the story you are already telling.

Please just don't tell stories.

Please notice that all of our stomachs are growling loudly.

Please keep your stories to yourself.

Please see that my blinks are becoming longer and longer in duration.

Please don't ask me to listen to any more stories.

Please recognize that we are not a bunch of dummies.

Please excuse me if I snore.

Please don't make us role play one of your stories.

Please let something exciting happen soon so that we may become part of your huge catalog of stories to tell future trainees.