Mirror, mirror
Okay, so here is the scenario.
I am just living my life, day-to-day, thinking that I am an okay person. I have friends. I am not a big meanie.
Now, I am not really doing anything to improve myself. Not making efforts to be a nicer person. Not making efforts to be better.
But then today, something happened that made me ashamed of who I am. I opened my mouth and said something I can't take back. I can't fix it. I don't even know how to start. I apologized, but that was completely insufficient because I hurt someone with words, and you can't take that stuff back.
So here I am, trying to express how miserable I feel. And how miserable she must feel because of me.
Because of me.
And I want to be that better person. Is this what has to happen to make us grow?
I am just living my life, day-to-day, thinking that I am an okay person. I have friends. I am not a big meanie.
Now, I am not really doing anything to improve myself. Not making efforts to be a nicer person. Not making efforts to be better.
But then today, something happened that made me ashamed of who I am. I opened my mouth and said something I can't take back. I can't fix it. I don't even know how to start. I apologized, but that was completely insufficient because I hurt someone with words, and you can't take that stuff back.
So here I am, trying to express how miserable I feel. And how miserable she must feel because of me.
Because of me.
And I want to be that better person. Is this what has to happen to make us grow?
posted by Amanda
at
7:49 PM
3 Comments:
You could be like me and next time you see her gush about how sorry you are and how you didn't mean how it sounded and you think she's wonderful and hope she forgives you.
Then she'll look at you strangely and say she doesn't remember the moment at all. So you ramble on about the incident, dredging it all back up. And she just stares, getting tears in her eyes from the repressed memory.
That's how I'd do it.
yeah, i saw her today. i didn't say anything about it but complimented her abundantly for other things, completely unrelated to the sore subject.
i am sure she didn't notice because i am the Queen of Subtlety.
Man it sucks when that happens.
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