Yesterday was a LONG day. Starting with the garage "sale," wherein we desperately started giving things away at ridiculously low prices when any unfortunate soul stumbled upon our event, and ending with the Target Trip of Mortification, wherin I established that I function very poorly on small amounts of sleep.
Specifically, let me tell you about the Target Trip.
Daniel, Dillon, my friend Brandi and her daughter were there with me. We were all exhausted from working the garage sale in the rain. It was pretty late in the evening - 8 or 9 pm at least. So, sleep deprivation
played a part. (I apparently cannot stress this enough.)
The absurdity started when I saw someone that I knew from church. She walked by the aisle we were on. She didn't see us, so she didn't speak, but I could see that she was visibly pregnant, which was a surprise to me. In my confusion, I decided to CHASE after her to say hello. Yes. Chase
. I pushed past Daniel and the cart and waved so she would see me.
"Hey, Holly! How are you? I didn't know you were pregnant!" was my greeting.
That was a little tactless, but when you realized that her name is not Holly, it becomes even more absurd.
She looked at me blankly, and said, "It's Meredith."
I actually knew that, and don't know where "Holly" came from, but you can see that the two names are not similar at all and do not even share one single letter in common.
I couldn't recover. My face was really hot and the verbal barrage just got worse.
"Oh, I'm so sorry! Meredith
! Well, I didn't know you were pregnant! When are you due? I haven't seen you at church lately, but we go to the early service and I guess maybe you go to the late service? You look great, but, pregnant. You know? I mean..."
She looked at me and said, "November."
"Oh! Is that when you are due? When in November?"
"The end. Near Thanksgiving."
"Oh! What day?"
(Seriously, Amanda. Shut. Up.)
"The 23rd." She begins frantically looking around trying to get away.
I begin to press her for more specific details, like the hour of the day, but Daniel swoops in to save me. During this exchange, he had been standing nearby, waiting for his psycho ward patient to return to the group. When he saw that I was not going to do so voluntarily, he pushed the cart up beside me and started to steer me away.
"Well, bye, Meredith! It was great to see you!" She nodded and hustled away, relieved to escape.
Daniel and Brandi dragged me down a bedding aisle and we began to review the event. They were looking at me like I was crazy. (Imagine that.)
"Who was that? You apparently didn't know her very well!" (Brandi)
"Why did you call her Holly? That isn't even her name!" (Daniel)
(See, very helpful people I have in my life.)
Anyway, my face was so hot and red that it hurt. I couldn't focus on shopping anymore. We struggled through the next twenty minutes. Daniel was trying to shop for sheets, Brandi was wondering why she had become my friend, and I was obsessively rehashing the conversation out loud to see if I could make it any less painful.
It didn't work. I woke up this morning to the sun peeking through the blinds. Here was my train of thought:
It is a beautiful Sunday. I love Sundays! It is my favorite day! I better get Daniel up for church. Church. Oh. Man! I called Meredith the wrong name! I wonder if Daniel wants to switch churches. Or move to another town. Ug.